


Different Kinds of Darkness

by Thebadjediandthegoodsith



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, star - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 18:47:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14408280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thebadjediandthegoodsith/pseuds/Thebadjediandthegoodsith
Summary: His hair was all kind of darkness, like he was made out of it. He tasted like gloom, that kind of darkness that predicted the birth of a new light. He was like that, so dark that he lost all hope in the light. But then there was she. She burnt like a beacon of light, the same light that he had tried to kill so desperately.





	Different Kinds of Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, guys! This is not written in my native language, so if you find Any mistakes, please tell me! Enjoy this little blurb :)

GLOOM  
His hair was all kind of darkness, like he was made out of it. He tasted like gloom, that kind of darkness that predicted the birth of a new light. He was like that, so dark that he lost all hope in the light. But then there was she. She burnt like a beacon of light, the same light that he had tried to kill so desperately. She was like a small ray of sun in a sleepless night. She was the end of everything he thought true. He thought he was not worthy of salvation, and he was not even sure that a salvation could exist for someone like him. After all the gloom tormented every second of his life. One of his earlier memories was IT. And by it, he meant the gloom. It was pulling him where the light could not find him. The gloom was a black matter that whispered in his ears. He thought he could kill it, but how do you kill a part of yourself and still be yourself? The truth was, falling for it had been easy. He had surrendered at the first try. There was something inside of him that just wanted to rage. He was not the perfect child. He was not the perfect padawan, he was not the perfect sith. He had thought he could live with that. He could not. He felt the light inside of him shrink every day, but still it was there, and it was not going away. He wanted to rage, to let go of it all. Because if he was not someone who could survive a such intense let down, then who was he? Was he Ben Solo? Was he the padawan of Luke? Or was he the sith he wanted to be?  
So he raged, but the one he ended up hurting the most was himself. And the gloom was still there.

SHADOWS THAT THE MOON CASTS ON EARTH  
His eyes were all kind of darkness, like they were made out of it. It was the same darkness that the shadows of a moon left on its planet. The moon cast those shadows like they were spurs of the same darkness he held in his heart. The choice of the darkness had been difficult. Not because he did not believe in it, but because he felt that he could described himself like somewhat gray. He had the darkness and the light, together. And he had thought there was no way out, until she met her. She was gray, he felt it. Just like him. But she was balanced… that was not like him. The truth was that he was a house of cards ready to fall apart, but she saw something in him. He did not know what it was, but he promised himself to never ruin what she saw in him. He wanted to stay the same, and change all together. He started to laugh. It was a curse, it was as thick as his blood… The blood of the Skywalkers, born from the Force itself. So stop everything for a moment and tell him the truth, that he has been bad, that he is so much more than his worst moments. He'll believe it, Rey. 

INK  
His mind was all kinds of darkness, his thoughts owned him, the rage and the peace. He was being torn apart, he thought he had to choose one. And he could not bring himself to. Snoke had never understood, and if he had, he never acted upon it. When the Supreme Leader threatened to kill her, Kylo had seen red. For a moment he had been dark, completely dark. He found out that he did not like that, he found out that there was more light in him than he thought. He was gray, and his mind had tricked him into thinking he was made out of darkness. Snoke had done that. Now he knew it, deep down, where he could reach his power. The very source of his being. 

SHADOWS OF A TREE   
His heart was all shades of darkness, interrupted by a few rays of light, he touched them with his hand. A tear gathered in his left eye. How long had it been since the last time he felt the comforting heat of the light? Rey was sleeping right beside him. He did not know how he had gotten there. To be with her. This creature that had known nothing but abandonment, loneliness and hate was a ray of light. He explored a bit the few rays, they looked like tiny blades coming through the leaves of a big tree.   
Cut me down, he thought, like a tree, climb me up and perch on me. Don't be elusive, caress my green leaves. Read a book while sitting on me. I'll be anything you want: you can build your home with my wood. I will be your home.  
Please check up on me when I am sleeping, he thought. He caressed her cheek, light like a feather. Rey… his ray of light. Not really, she was the color of balance. Gray.   
He was not dark anymore. He was gray. Just like her.   
His salvation had blessed him. Her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked it, please live kudos or a comment!


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